Emotionally immature parents may contribute to a change in the adult life of a child.

The label of being a parent doesn’t prove the maturity level of adults as a parent, does it? Sometimes, why is it that a little child behaves more maturely than a parent?

Besides the basic necessities, children often look up to their parents for their emotional needs which at times exists at a subconscious level. They require attention, constant support, and positive feedback that boosts their morale and motivates them to keep going. Of course, constructive criticism should also be given as it helps children to identify their areas of improvement and the difference between what’s right and what’s wrong.

In general, we draw meaning from our past experiences. As we grow older, our future prospects feed on those experiences. If parents are not positively impacting the lives of their children in their childhood, display negative quarrelsome behaviour in their presence, use offensive language, and so on, then they are somewhere contributing and being responsible for their child’s unbalanced adult life if and when it comes. As parents we always want the best for our kids, if the space they live in is poor, how can the parents assure a rich environment when they step outside. As I had mentioned in my earlier blog, “As parents we are the role models to our kids”, imagine what emotional turmoil a child might go through while dealing with the immature emotions of their own role models. How does the child make use of their cognitive intellect to understand such type of situations?

Growing up, children may not be able to identify their own emotions while simultaneously dealing and trying to untangle the meshed up emotions of their parents. Such kind of infantile behavior may have two repercussions. One, the child loses self-confidence, experiences lingering emotions of anger and/or loneliness and feels bogged down at times. Two, using their intellect they take up the adult level responsibility and compensate for their parents’ irrational behavior while dealing with the situation maturely than the parent.

Emotionally immature parents sometimes fail to realize that as adults they are solely responsible for their child’s future.

Being conscious about our feelings and emotions and knowing how and when to exhibit them, will make a humongous difference in your child’s upbringing. Communicating and rectifying the errors in the right manner is the key factor. It is okay to apologize to your child when YOU make a mistake. This will encourage your child to reciprocate the same kind of behavior. Kids don’t tend to follow and do what their parents SAY, rather they do what they OBSERVE.

I believe if the foundation is strong, kids can grow to conquer the world. 😇

I hope you liked the blog. Happy reading!

This is the time when the kids will adapt from observing us on how we, as mature adults, handle life situations in any given crisis.

Nikita P.

“Huh… When will this pandemic end? When will someone find a cure to this? When can I go out of my house without any fear? When??“

These questions have been juggling in and out of our minds and yet we can’t find an answer to them. We are living in such crisis where the daily routine has been hampered.

These days, we see and forward viral videos on how to stay sane and positive at such times, but does that really help?

Being a parent of 3 kids, I personally have experienced mixed emotions especially now. Frustration being the topmost in the list. Things seem all the more burdensome at times. I am sure many can relate to it. However, as days passed I have realized that just like us adults, the kids might be going through the same set of emotions which might have gone unnoticed while dealing with our own. So the question here is how to understand our kids in such crisis?

There may not be a specific answer to this as it may vary from parent to parent. Everyone is trying their best to keep up in such unprecedented crisis that the world is experiencing right now. I am sure every parent is trying to create more awareness amongst their children by wanting them to spend this quarantine time to the best, making them join virtual classes, taking their help with minor daily chores and so on..

When it comes to parenting there is no such right or wrong approach, but here in such situation we as parents should become consciously aware and be mindful of the needs of our kids while equally balancing our emotional state. It’s easier said than done and I know that it sounds complicated, but just consciously thinking of the above will ease all the problems.

This is the time when the kids will adapt from observing us on how we, as mature adults, handle life situations in any given crisis. Children are great observers and they reciprocate simply through observation – how to stay focused, how to be tolerant, how to handle frustration levels and so on. If we as parents grasp the right approach, the kids are more likely to imitate the behavior when they find themselves in a similar predicament. Isn’t this what we all
expect from our kids when they grow up? To be sane and not panicky? There is no magic where the kids can inculcate such skills in a snap of the finger. These are “Learned behaviors”.

Experiences help in developing learned behaviors. For instance learning the skill of “Talking“. Toddlers imitate and learn to talk by just observing people around them. Similarly anger is an another example of learned behavior. Where do you think the child learns to throw tantrums from? You don’t teach them directly and yet they learn it from their senses.
I totally understand it is hard to maintain peace within ourselves given the pressure we handle from all sides, but then I feel this is the right time to showcase our attitudes the right way and become their role model.

I am sure lot of hidden talents have emerged out of people which they never thought they had. I personally have experienced and learnt over the past few weeks that listening and watching over your kids is also a talent.

“Happy kids, Happy Parents!”

I empathise with all the parents for their selfless efforts ❤️